Therapy
"We think we tell stories, but stories often tell us. Often, too often, stories saddle us, ride us, whip us onward, tell us what to do, and we do it without questioning.
We are our stories, stories that can be both prison and the crowbar to break open the door of that prison. The task of learning to be free requires learning to hear them, to question them, to pause and hear silence, to name them, and then, become a story-teller."
The quote above, by Rebecca Solnit, offers a description of the therapeutic process I work with. I help people find crowbars they didn't know they were carrying, find possibility where they only see walls.
I work with folks of all genders, orientations, and walks of life to help them reclaim authorship over their life story. Those I've worked with have told me I create a safe, non-judgmental space where they feel fully seen. My style is real and gritty, deep yet playful, relational, and collaborative.
Alongside my Master of Arts degree in Counselling Psychology from Adler University, I have obtained additional clinical training in IFS therapy, Narrative Therapy, Mindfulness, trauma-informed therapy, Relationship therapy, and Sex therapy. However — official training aside — I learned most of what I know from my own life experiences and my decades-long dedication to my own therapy/healing journey. I am also deeply indebted to the wisdom of the youth I worked with at Peak House, an all-genders residential treatment centre for youth struggling with substance misuse.
Just like naturopathic medicine believes that the body knows how to restore itself to health, I believe that each psyche carries within it the wisdom that it needs to heal. The role of therapy, then, is to help people access that wisdom, to uncover it from the rubble and noise.
To me, therapy is more than just treating problems; it is an honour and privilege to help people transmute pain and suffering into growth and wisdom.
I know this is possible because I have experienced it myself.
Areas of
Specialty
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“Trauma is not what happens to you; it is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you” —Gabor Maté
Often the parts of us we come to therapy to change or 'fix' are simply parts of us that are trying desperately to protect us in the only way they learned how to do so.
The primary modality I use for treating trauma is IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy — a.k.a parts work— founded by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS is an evidence-based, emergent method of psychotherapy that is becoming widely known for its transformative results in treating not just trauma, but anxiety, depression, OCD, depression, relationship difficulties, and all the rest. I have trained extensively in this method and continually undergo my own IFS therapy. Though IFS is gentle, permission- and consent-based, it is nevertheless powerful and at times startling in its ability to create the felt sense of change most people are yearning for when they come to therapy.
The IFS approach involves turning inward with compassion and greeting the protective "parts" we all carry inside ourselves. These protective parts are often brilliant and creative adaptations to early trauma, family/societal conditions and even intergenerational patterns — the problem is, when rooted in trauma, these protectors become rigid, desperate and confining.
According to the IFS model, we all carry inside of us a Self (a true self, an authentic self, a wise Adult, or a higher self, etc.) that is often blocked by these Protective parts ("protectors") and Exiled parts ("exiles"), who carry burdens from past hardships and traumas. In IFS therapy, we begin to "unblend" from the protective parts that often define how we operate in the world and begin to access Self. Once we anchor in Self, we bring the healing qualities of the Self (compassion, calm, curiosity, clarity, courage) and begin to "reparent" and retrieve our exiled parts. Then, our brilliant but rigid "protectors" can finally relax, resulting in shifts that are felt in our minds and bodies as increased spaciousness, agency, and clarity in our lives. -
“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives” —Esther Perel
Never before in history have we expected more from our intimate relationships, while our time, attention, and emotional reserves have never before been so depleted. Choosing to value yourself and your relationships by coming to therapy is a brave and wise choice! Most couples suffer by not doing this sooner than later.
My approach to relationship counselling is informed primarily from The Bader-Pearson Developmental Model, which focuses on helping people grow and differentiate through the crucible of their relationship(s). It is a highly-effective form of therapy that guides you to practice new ways of being and relating to oneself and others. Through this process we uncover your developmental edges (your unique areas of challenge/growth based on your childhood and past experiences) and we create steps that help you grow past those developmental edges so that you can be fulfilled both within and outside your primary relationship. This model uniquely fosters both intrapersonal and interpersonal transformation, and as such, it is uncomfortable and challenging on purpose. This is because the kinds of changes we need to make in order to have thriving relationships require both safety and stepping outside of our habitual comfort zones.
I work with couples of all orientations, poly and ethically non-monogamous folks, as well as family/sibling and even professional relationships seeking support. -
“Great lovers are made, not born” —Peggy Kleinplatz
One of the reasons I found myself focusing on relationships and sexuality is because I find sexuality to be one of the most honest windows into our humanity. Sexuality is a terrain full of creativity, imagination, longing, fear, contradictions, tender pain, and profound shame.
It’s an honor to facilitate sex therapy, as so many people are suffering primarily from a lack of access to a safe place to talk about sexuality — a place to dispel common myths, share their true desires, and unpack what’s in the way of their erotic potential.
Sexual desire is one of my areas of specialty. I completed original qualitative research on women’s sexual desire, which was published in the journal of Sexual and Relationship Therapy. I have presented on topics related to sexuality at City University of New York's conference, "Desire; From Eros to Eroticism," and at The Guelph Sexuality Conference.
I have significant additional training in sex therapy for a variety of issues including but not limited to: low desire, desire discrepancy, erectile challenges, ethical non-monogamy, kink-aware therapy, LGBTQ+ relationships, unlearning internalized homophobia/biphobia, painful sex (vulvodynia, vestibulodynia, dyspareunia), difficulties with orgasm, sex after trauma, overcoming sexual shame and sex-negativity, and improving sexual communication and sexual self-esteem.
My approach to sex therapy is deeply informed by the work of sex therapists Esther Perel and sex researcher Peggy Kleinplatz, both of whom I have studied with.